2016 is my first year as a wedding officiant! I’ve been booked for 20 weddings, so I hit the ground running. Here are some things I’ve learned this year.
I have a folder for each couple, and a spreadsheet on my computer. The folders are in a big expandable folder case, in order of date. When the wedding has happened, I shift that couple’s folder to the back and move everything else up to the front. I also label every email with “weddings” so they’re easy to find. I have a timeline for each couple, based on their needs. This system has been very helpful!
Have a process.
I created an initial packet that helps me interview each couple, to find out their story, their vision for their wedding, and go over the standard elements of a wedding, allowing them to understand and customize their wishes. I also have a large number of resources for creative greetings, vows, and wedding elements such as a Ring Warming Ceremony, that I show them and let them consider after our meeting. It’s a great way to start. I follow every meeting with an email recapping our meeting and next steps.
Create a Script.
My final script has everything that will be said, and all “stage directions” – who will stand where, what props will be moved or used (including who will hold the bouquet and rings, where extras will be, if there will be a microphone, and when music will begin or change), from the very beginning through giving the guests directions on where to go after the ceremony.
Have a music stand.
My music stand is a nice one, and it holds my notebook neatly in front of me, making my hands free to hold a microphone if needed, or to gesture. I learned this after I did an outdoor wedding, in high wind, and was given a karaoke microphone, needed to give the brides their vows, and be heard over loud airplanes! It was a lot to juggle, and so, I now know that using the stand would have helped me not need to hold the notebook with my script in it and try to navigate it all!
Things change, sometimes on the fly. A wedding will start late, or the music won’t work, the groom might cry, or sweat profusely, or say something unintentionally funny. Be ready to roll with the changes, and adapt in the moment. Don’t take it all seriously, but be lighthearted and have fun. This is love – not a funeral, after all!